Forgiveness, as we’ve already said, involves looking past the conflict, to see the other person. It’s only by doing this that you can begin to see the conflict from their vantage point and when you do, you might discover a few things.

First, when you see the conflict through their eyes, you might see what you did from a different perspective and maybe you’ll see how your actions hurt them.

Next you might begin to understand why they did what they did. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll discover that they had no real option, or maybe their actions, though they hurt you, spared you from greater hurt had they done nothing. Of course, this won’t always be the case, but if you don’t forgive, you’ll never get a chance to look and if you never look, you’ll never know. And more than that, if you don’t forgive, you can’t move on.

There is often more to a conflict than meets the eye. Sometimes, without forgiveness, you can never truly understand the conflict. That’s why forgiveness doesn’t always, or it shouldn’t always imply a guilty party and victim, though there are undeniably instances where this is true. Sometimes, it’s just about improving understanding.

There is one more element to reconciliation, a recognition that change is needed. That change might be actions or attitudes or just a change of perspective, but reconciliation almost always requires some form of change. Without that change, we’re just in a rinse and repeat cycle, and this is never healthy for a relationship.

Regardless, this path is the road to reconciliation, and this is what we’re going to explore.

So, how does Christian doctrine view reconciliation?

Reconciliation in Christianity is the restoration of a right relationship. Of course, the most important relationship in need of righting is the relationship between us and God. This can only be achieved through God’s grace and his forgiveness of us, seeing past our sins, to see us instead. To begin to understand God’s approach to this, you will need to dive into the story of Jesus – His life, His teachings, His death on the cross and His resurrection. You will also need to explore repentance. Reconciliation always requires change and that is what repentance is all about. If you want to learn more about repentance, click on the link below.

Moving on, the reconciliation that God’s grace and forgiveness has given us also gives us a template for reconciliation with others.

Going back to the beginning. It starts with love – love as a conscious and maybe difficult action. From love comes forgiveness and the new perspective that it gives – seeing past the conflict and seeing the person. From the new perspective comes a new recognition of what is possible in the relationship. And from that comes reconciliation.

Reconciliation involves exploring what is still possible and determining what a renewed relationship might look like. It does not mean re-exposure to violence and harm. For example, a survivor of abuse may pray for the offender’s change, forgive internally, but not resume close contact—this is still reconciliation in a spiritual sense.

Like love and faith, worship and repentance, reconciliation is an action, not a condition and it’s an action that our Christian faith calls us to. We have explored reconciliation at a human level, but we’ve barely touched on reconciliation at a God level, and we haven’t really examined reconciliation from the perspective of repentance at all.

If you want to explore the Christian view on reconciliation with God, I’ve included some scripture below. If you want to explore repentance, here’s a link.

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